How to make the "Big Black Bear" more friendly?

Bear is our Maine Coon. He is a neutered male about 9 months old. Probably about 14 pounds now, should be 20+ pounds when fully grown based on his parents.

We would like him to show a little more affection. Specifically be more willing to come up near my wife and me and allow us to pet him.

He is not afraid of us or scared. He is not aggressive at all. He just would prefer not to be real close, held or petted most of the time. He will during the day come around and let you pet him for a short while. He wants to be in our vacinity. He will follow you from room to room, not always, but a lot. I have noticed he is more receptive to being petted from the middle of his back on towards his rear than the ftont half of his body. If I get up in middle of the night when I come back to bed he will jump up next to me, rub up against me and let me pet him.

We got him when he was 12 weeks old. He has been raised with our 5 year old MultPoo dog. The two of them became instant friends and play togeteher several times each day. They chase each other around. They even play wrestling with each other, no fights at all.

Thanks in advance for any ideas or suggestions.

Not all MC's are full in your face & want to be cuddled but mostly they do all come round to it in the end,our boy Merl has only become a cuddle puss in the last couple of years & one of our two 4yr olds has only just started asking for cuddles where as his brother has been a cuddle bug from day 1,I would say bide your time,have plenty of fun playtime & enjoy him that way & make the most of the affection he offers you now,your day will come.....xxx

my red has always demanded cuddles , the brown tabby took alot longer to even let you fuss him. he is now more than happy to sit on our laps - normally after a whole lot of padding. He still doesnt like being picked up or fussed from the front. Be patient and he will eventually come round

My boy Dex is also like this... It's always on his term and he dosen't like if you pet him too long then the teeth comes out :) I guess some MC are just like that. He will sometime come and cuddle in the morning while we are still in bed... I think it's just a way to get us up to feed him. We love him to pieces.

Elvis is pretty much the same way.

He wants to be at the party, but not the centerpiece of attention.

He'll sit by me all evening, but I get the stink-eye if I pick him up or otherwise disturb him.

When I pick him up and start to pet him, he starts wiggling after about ten seconds of it.

Recently, he's started to purr a bit before he starts to wiggle, though.

He'll be three in May and is finally starting to fill out. I can barely feel his ribs without pressing too hard.

I'm not sure what he weighs now. Seems like another couple of years until he's fully grown out.

My Samantha adored her Papa but she was never a lap cat and never slept with me, we spent lots of time at bed time grooming and petting but as soon as I turned out the lights she'd go to one of her regular sleeping spots, she did sleep on my bed during the day.
She like being close to me but not on me.
At first this kinda disappointed me as her predecessor was a big time lap cat but once I accepted her for the cat she was instead of the cat I wanted her to be our love blossomed.
She loved to play all sorts of games and we had years of enjoyment playing together.

Our MCs will only cuddle on their own terms, when it suits them. And that's OK with us. They *do* like to be around us though... never far away, and follow us through the house and into the garden. Whether we're at work in the home office, cooking a meal in the kitchen, or watching telly in the living room... they are there with us. But almost never on our laps. (Except at night when there's always one or two sleeping on the bed, lol.) I once read somewhere: "An MC will be your buddy and your friend, but never your baby."

We have found that MCs will come around in their own good time. Some like to be fussed and are straight there when a lap is presented, others just like being in the same room and are happy with the occasional bit of fuss but no more. Just be patient and accept your boy for what he is and enjoy each other's company.

Our kits aren't great cuddlers either - Tess will enjoy it for a minute or two then want to get down, Finn & Marco love it for a little while and snuggle into my shoulder. They all do want to be with us tho and will occasionally grace our laps ... although they are getting a bit big for that now and usually end up hanging over both sides before giving up and sliding off :smile:

They've all changed as they get older, so give Bear some time, he obviously enjoys a little bit of petting now & wants to be with you.

As said above all MCs are different.
I have one kitten that gets really excited whenever I stroke him .And some times he can be embarrassingly enthusiastic .
The other will only have one on his terms and that can last two minutes or two hours (if he is lucky)

My Cleo isn't a cuddle puss, which is a shame as our two previous cats (Burmillas) that I bred were very affectionate. I do wonder if being brought up in a cattery for the first few weeks has any bearing on it? And if kittens that are home bred are any different? it would be interesting to find out.
Our Bearded collie is 3years old we got her at 18 weeks all this time she was in the breeders kennel with other dogs for company. It has taken a while to socialize her and she is still very unsure of people. The next kitten I get I think I'll make sure that it is home bred.
At the moment Cleo is calling, so is very affectionate and chatty :smile:

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Originally Posted by terrijane

My Cleo isn't a cuddle puss, which is a shame as our two previous cats (Burmillas) that I bred were very affectionate. I do wonder if being brought up in a cattery for the first few weeks has any bearing on it? And if kittens that are home bred are any different? it would be interesting to find out.
Our Bearded collie is 3years old we got her at 18 weeks all this time she was in the breeders kennel with other dogs for company. It has taken a while to socialize her and she is still very unsure of people. The next kitten I get I think I'll make sure that it is home bred.
At the moment Cleo is calling, so is very affectionate and chatty :smile:

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I got my beloved Samantha at 6 months old, she was raised in the house but there were 2 litters of kittens at the same time so I always wonder if she got enough one on one attention.
While she was gentle cat who would allow small children to pet her she was never a lap cat or very needy.
We spent the time before I'd sleep on my bed where I'd groom her but as soon as I turned out the lights she jump off and go to one of her spots.
She liked sleeping on the chair just outside my bedroom door.
I just accepted her quirks and all and grew to love her deeply, she loved to play a variety of games and we had lots of good times playing together.