My Beloved Fudge (RIP my Baby)
21st November 1995 - a horrid, cold, wet day. My mood was black as my Bichon had passed away that morning and I took myself off to the beach to cry without the kids seeing me. Alone in my thoughts I became aware of a pitying cry coming from the sand dunes. On further investigation I came upon a tiny, near bald kitten. My Fudge. I took you home, wrapped you in warm towels, fed you baby milk through a dropper and waited for you to die. But you didn't - you thrived! You really want to live and boy did you fight! You grew into a wonderful kitten, big, playful and always hungry. Then when you were 7 weeks old (i take date I found you as day you were born) you stopped breathing for no reason. Had you given up? Was your Mummy calling from the Rainbow? I couldn't lose you and fought and fought all night and the following day and night and you lived.
I had problems with my son's health and had to keep going back and forward to Gt Ormond Street, every time I got back stressed you were there to offer a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on.Headbonking your way into my thoughts until I cuddles you and relaxed.
The day came that you really were in need of the dreaded snip. Dropped you off expecting to pick you up later in the day and all done. But No, you had other ideas. Went to get you and got told to "take a seat" alarm bells ringing everywhere. You were not yet two and i was told you had a growth on your scrotum and that it was considered too dangerous to operate. My life fell apart again. I decided to let you live your life to the full and deal with it later. I was tod you would never be a Daddy either.
Well, you were still there fighting when I split from my husband and really needed a shoulder to cry on. With everything that happened with the kids there was only ever you who could console me, and you did it day after day after day. You seemed to know when I needed you and can't believe your fur never shrunk with all the tears.
Then I had the BIG car crash!! You went out that morning as normal for you and I went to work, expecting our usual reunion in the car park when I got home. Who could have predicted I would not recall seeing you again for two months. I still cant put together what happened that day, I remember seeing the lorry, then blue lights, then nothing ...... then paws at my face - that was you visiting me in hospital as the Drs said I needed a reason to come round.
The crash left me with epilepsy although we didn't know that right away. I kept waking up covered in cat bites and stratches feeling really tired. My tongue always hurt and had so many claw marks on it that I couldn't remember.
You picked up on my fits and were physically getting me out of them. I clearly remember one night, coming too in hospital and being told if you had not attacked me I would not be there. I saved your life as a kitten and you repaided by saving mine. And you saved it again and again and again. When I fitted you sank your claws in my tongue to stop me swallowing it and kept me alert. You made sooo much noise that neighbours etc had to respond and help me.
We had a bond that can never be replicated not broken.
On 15th March 2011, you struggled to wake and get out of bed. Your lump in your nether regions was large and hot. We lay in bed cuddling for hours - somehow I knew these cuddles were our last. You lasted the night and took the journey to Rainbow Bridge in the early hours of the 16th March 2011 aged 16 years you gave up your fight lying in my arms, in my bed where you were loved and secure.
So back to the beach I went and long story cut short Buddy entered my life. I'm not stupid i know you sent him. We talk about you all the time when cuddly
I feel that our final cuddle was stolen, why did you have to go? I love you and miss you sooooo much. I think of you every night before I go to sleep and I think of you every morning when I wake.
Til I can see you at the Rainbow, run free my friend, I love you and will never ever forget you, you are a cat in a million and that just happened to be my cat xxxxxx
