Thread: Funny Cat Sayings (to lighten things up again)

• Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask for your loving care and attention.
  
  Translation: I'm the boss, serve me.
• I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realise.
  
  Translation: Go out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I intend to become accustomed.
• This I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor will I demand more of you than you care to give.
  
  Translation: The more attention I get, the more I want. You may have to hire another slave for me (by the way, I lie!).
• I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.
  
  Translation: I will tear round the house smashing ornaments at 3 a.m., infest the house with fleas, and bite your mother when she comes to visit (did I mention that I lie?).
• You know dear friend, how I love to sleep. Allow me, I pray, a warm sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.
  
  Translation: Don't you dare wake me, I know where you sleep, and will get revenge - claw type bloody revenge!
• If I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.
  
  Translation: I reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you hire to treat me.
• Please protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.
  
  Translation: If you ever find out that it was me who bit your mother's thumb and gave her tetanus, I'll have to claim that she woke me up when I was having a bad dream.
• In my later years when my senses fail me and my infirmities become to great to bear, allow me the comfort and dignity that I desire for my closing days and help me gently in my pain or passing.
  
  Translation: When I've had enough of being pampered, please send me to my next reincarnation, where I look forward to being satisfactorily served once more.
• Hear this prayer, my dear friend, my fate depends on you.
  
  Translation: I might just accept you as slave, if you behave yourself.