Funny story

**Antonia** · 8th September 2010, 10:57 AM

(On a brighter note - to keep my mind off Minnie's op tomorrow - I thought I'd share this funny story a friend emailed this morning.)

The following is posted on our refrigerator door..

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, and then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

**Karol** · 8th September 2010, 11:34 AM

Really funny and oh so recognizable!!

**mollyanna** · 8th September 2010, 11:50 AM

nice one

**Howlinbob** · 8th September 2010, 12:27 PM

Haha, that's brill! So true!!

Monty is always trying to get his paw in my food, so I've had to start banning him from the room until dinnertime is over. I'll put him off the table over and over again but he keeps on springing back. So now we have dinner listening to his whining from the other side of the door. OH is a soft touch and thinks I'm being mean, but I'm not having it. Larry is a good boy though, he just sits on a chair wondering what all the fuss is about. I always save Monty a titbit, but he has to wait until we've finished, and then he has it in his dish, on the floor! And guess what, he usually doesn't even want to eat it, he just wants to play with it!!!

Why is it that the woman tends to be the disciplinarian???

**Antonia** · 8th September 2010, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by Howlinbob

Why is it that the woman tends to be the disciplinarian???

Funny you say that, because with us it's the other way around. When we first had Tatja, hubby Ed got a bit grumpy about me allowing her around during meals. But I thought: "They're like kids... whenever something is forbidden it gets all the more interesting." So now we give them their tidbits when we sit down to eat. After they've eaten it they stop trying to pinch food (apart from occasionally trying to sniff the dishes but then we look them in the eye and say NO!, which always works) and just sit around watching quietly.
(I am not sure what would happen if we both left the room with the food still on the table though.

)

**jckkerrison** · 8th September 2010, 01:41 PM

If it was my daughters two MC's left in a room of food it would still be there untouched,with my first three it would be the same but when Merlyn came along things changed,I never used to worry about shutting the kitchen door & any meat was left on the side covered up,we hadn't had him long & we sat enjoying a cup of coffee on the sofa & I looked up & saw a joint of beef hovering in the doorway,there it stayed for a few seconds & as nothing was said it made its way past the doorway silver cat attatched down the hall & oops mum look what I found in my bed ! He had been up on the side,somehow had got a heavy glass bowl off enought to get to it without us hearing,we assume he hovered because the door being open to the sitting room he was making sure we hadn't noticed anything,then off he went,did look funny though just seing this bit of meat hovering a few inches above the floor.He has been a thief ever since & Welly is not far behind so while you are watching one the other little b****r creeps up & removes from behind,never get told off though because how they do it normally puts you into a fit of the giggles,I just make sure they are shut up when we have guests around,not everyone appreciates them,do they....!

**FreyjaRoMaine** · 8th September 2010, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Howlinbob

Why is it that the woman tends to be the disciplinarian???

It's the same at our place. Freyja gets away with murder when OH is on his own. I've now given up trying to get her off the coffee table. Or out of the bedroom. Or from chewing trainers. Or deterring her from acting like a cat that's never SEEN food before, let alone had any, EVERY SINGLE TIME THE RICE PUDDING COMES OUT... Cats can't read, can they? They can't see Rachel's Rice Pudding written on the lid? They don't recognise dessert spoons! And as I wrestle my (clearly) half-starved kitten with an OCD for rice pudding away from my spoon, he looks at me like he wants to call the RCPCA. She even tried to get some off the spoon on it's way INto my mouth!!

Originally Posted by jckkerrison

If it was my daughters two MC's left in a room of food it would still be there untouched,with my first three it would be the same but when Merlyn came along things changed,I never used to worry about shutting the kitchen door & any meat was left on the side covered up,we hadn't had him long & we sat enjoying a cup of coffee on the sofa & I looked up & saw a joint of beef hovering in the doorway,there it stayed for a few seconds & as nothing was said it made its way past the doorway silver cat attatched down the hall & oops mum look what I found in my bed ! He had been up on the side,somehow had got a heavy glass bowl off enought to get to it without us hearing,we assume he hovered because the door being open to the sitting room he was making sure we hadn't noticed anything,then off he went,did look funny though just seing this bit of meat hovering a few inches above the floor.He has been a thief ever since & Welly is not far behind so while you are watching one the other little b****r creeps up & removes from behind,never get told off though because how they do it normally puts you into a fit of the giggles,I just make sure they are shut up when we have guests around,not everyone appreciates them,do they....!

Well, you've got give the little fella 10 out of 10 for ingenuity!

**Antonia** · 8th September 2010, 07:53 PM

[QUOTE=FreyjaRoMaine;6454
... acting like a cat that's never SEEN food before, let alone had any... [/QUOTE]

Haha... that is so recognizable! Our cats act exactly the same, only never with our food.

When I go up to the kitchen and it's vaguely feeding time they run after me, screaming "We're starving, we're starving!!!"
When I hand out treats, Monty puts his front paw under my hand: "Gimme! Gimme!"

And this afternoon I saw Monty doing something extraordinary. We always give them their dry food in those balls with holes which they have to roll in order to get the pellets out. There was an empty ball on the kitchen floor. Monty decided it was dinner time and he violently kicked the ball, sat down beside it and looked at me as if to say: "How about it, missus?"