Thread: scared of being picked up

A month is a very short time for a cat with her background to fully accept you, in my experience. We took in a stray MC mix several years ago, who had been living wild outside for more than a year. While he would early on do things like cuddle in bed at night, he was generally very leery of many things for the better part of a the first year, and would occasionally revert to nearly feral behavior. We also adopted a retiree, and I would say it was again about a year before we felt like she was truly our cat. She did not want us picking her up and clearly did not completely trust us for ages. Our experience has also been that some MCs like being picked up and others do not much. Right now it is half and half: one boy and one girl like being held, and one boy and one girl do not much (you can do it only briefly). So my advice is simply to give her lots of love and try to be patient (though I know this is difficult when you love them). It may take even a year, but eventually I am sure she will bond with you completely; both of the two I mentioned certainly bonded completely with us.

I agree with NCarver,don't try to rush the situation,play on the strengths,our fist MC a retired breeding queen was hard work,she hadn't been badly treated or anything like that but she was a law unto herself,she didn't like being picked up & held, she was hard to groom,didn't like her tummy being touched , hated having her nails clipped & what she wanted she expected to have & got really stroppy if not allowed to do it but over time she came round to be the most loving girl who now climbs up & puts her arms around your neck, cuddles for England & you can do what you like with her,she is the easiest of all of mine to get tablets down.I do think they need to have guidelines to adhere too because if they don't realise what they are doing is unacceptable then you can't move forward but any negatives can be turned & love & patience will win over & one day you will be able to pick her up.We have two that would be on your lap for cuddles all day{the girl being one of them}one who has his times that he expects to be able to use your lap,two who occasionally will lay there all night but then for the next few weeks are not interested & one that will only lay beside you,so as NCarver says they are all different but in their own way still show their luv for you,even if that means play,play,play instead of cuddles.
We very often look back & say what hard work she was over the frist year to eighteen months but wouldn't have changed any of it & look forward to your posting saying the same thing....x

I've got absolutely no experience with cats that have been poorly treated, or abandoned, or lived in the wild. I don't know if it helps but I do agree with Jackie and NCarver about their differing personalities though:
Freyja loves fuss, but not cuddles - she hasn't curled up on my lap since about the first week she was with us, although does like to sit on the sofa and be near us. If OH picks her up, she wriggles to get down, but is far happier to be picked up and cuddled by me, but only if she's in the mood. She's mummy's cat, and she shows me affection by wandering round the house calling out to me - if I (try and) call her back, she'll move nearer my voice and call again, until she finds me. Then she rubs backwards and forwards round my legs and prirups to get up on my desk, where she sprawls out and watches me work. She loves it if she's on her tower, and I rest my forehead on hers and quitely say her name - she's purring in an instant.
Wicca on the other hand is 100% lap cat; she'll shove your arm out the way so she can get access to your legs, and after a while lying there lapping up the fuss, she creeps further up your chest until the top of her head rests just under your chin - it's like she seems to like feeling or hearing your hearbeat. Either of us can pick her up at any time for a cuddle, and the only time she tries to get down is if she thinks Freyja's getting something and Wicca's missing out!
Both cats have no problem with their front paws being played with - they will sometimes stretch their toes out so you can have a proper rub between them. Both cats hate their back feet being touched. I've often wondered if they're ticklish.
So you might find she's never happy about her feet, and she may always have a tendency to be ratty when picked up - it might just be who she is. But it won't stop her showing you how much she loves you - she'll just do it in a different way, is all.